Days in Quarantine

                            My Days in Quarantine 

The day there was an outbreak of this deadly pandemic in our world, a new word got added to our dictionary. It already existed in the Oxford records but many of us really did not know what it meant. Gradually, its usage became so rampant that it sounded like an Anthem. A Global Anthem actually.

A huge negativity followed this word. No one really understood the essence but started using it loosely. This created misconceptions and panic in the public minds.

Though the dictionary meaning of “Quarantine” is “Solitary Isolation” , on a lighter note, I would say it’s nothing but as simple as – “I want my space so that no one would bother me.” or “I want me time”. Of course, it is not as easy as it sounds. In a general scenario, you are mentally / psychologically free and get into self-isolation by choice. This is a forced seclusion period where health is the primary focus.

This deadly Corona virus has taught us that “positive” may not always bring mean happiness and a word as demotivating as “negative” on the test report makes you feel so positive.

I was tested positive (19th Sept’20).

It actually started with a slight body ache and a negligible temperature on 15th Sept’20 morning. I took my regular antibiotics and presumed that I would be fit the next day. However, to my dismay, my body temperature crossed 99 Fahrenheit. There was no cough, cold, loss of smell or taste, diarrhea, etc. Hence, it made me confident not to suspect my infection at all.

Generally, it is not in my DNA to consult my physician so instantly when I have these symptoms but, on this occasion, I do not know what made me call him and explain my condition. Since I was the only one at my home to buy daily essentials, take care of my ailing parents and attend office on intermittent basis, he suggested that I should get some basic tests to be done i.e. Complete Blood Count (CBC) and C-Reactive Protein (CRP). I got tested and my reports hinted that my CBC reading was normal. However, CRP read as 12.9, where the acceptable range was 0 -5. The reading was bizarre, which raised an alarm for us as well as my physician. He made me understand that such an abnormal reading is could be a result of some inflammation in the body, either due to spicy/oily food, trauma, infection or Covid-19. I was trying to cushion my mind saying that this reading must be due to spicy and oily food since I am an avid spicelover. My doctor had, however, suspected otherwise. Hence, he insisted me to get RT PCR (Real Time Reverse Transcriptase Polymerase Chain Reaction) test done for Covid detection on immediate basis.

I did this test on the morning of 17th Sept’20 and desperately waited for my test results. I was told that a positive report takes circa 48 hours or more, while a negative report is shared within 36 hours of testing. However, these timelines may vary depending on the count of tests conducted and the workload on the technicians. Like a maniac, I was on the laboratory’s website to monitor my report status.

On Sept 17th , I was very calm as I could do nothing but to wait for the samples to reach the main laboratory.

On the morning of Sept 18th morning, the status for my report changed to “Sample collection” which further changed to “Batch Received” by 12.30 pm. Around 2.30 pm, it changed to as “Sample Tested”.

My pressure was increasing multifold with every changed status.

Around 4.30 pm, the status changed to “Approval hold”. I assumed that may be the reports are pending for doctor’s signature.

I had never monitored any of my health reports as closely as these and hence, I was unable to decipher the meaning of each status. Everyone in the family choked to death as the “Approval Hold” status rang a bell in our minds. I pretended to be calm and composed. In reality, I was monitoring the website every 30 minutes to find out if the report status changed or if report was ready. It was like a hanging sword. We all resorted to intense prayers as all of us were aware of the dire consequences if this monster gets you. The globe is on fire since December 2019.

It was 9 pm, then. Finally, unable to hold myself, I called the laboratory in-charge to understand the meaning of this report status. She informed me that every Covid report is first submitted to the BMC for records and then, the laboratory doctor is authorized to sign and share the report. This confused us even more. We left it at that and decided to wait for the next day.

It was 8.30 am of 19th Sept, when I opened the website to check my report and there it was. With continuous chanting in my mind, I opened the report to find -“SARS COV2 detected” stated in it. I broke the news to my family, but their first reaction showed disbelief. It was followed by tears as I showed them the report. Not sure, how to react, I calmed them and told them that I need to speak to the doctor first.

I told my folks that “It is not the time to panic, but the time to be resilient”.

I don’t know what power instilled in me that I was calm, as if nothing happened. I had heard stories about people breaking down emotionally, families’ outburst, negativity overshadowing your willpower and a deep fear of not facing the world again, especially in the event of hospitalization. I was in tranquility. I am sure it was Almighty who restored my core strength.

Lot of emotions were over-hauling my small little brain, but they were more about what to do next and how to turn around the medical condition rather than cursing the Universe – Why me when I followed all the safety and hygiene requirements? This was the first positive change I noticed about myself. Thanks to the mentoring sessions I was an active part of. More details to follow soon.

Off late, I had become super-pessimistic and started manifesting too much negativity and kept challenging Almighty or Universe, all the time. This behavior had taken a toll on my personality and made me forget the difference of being “Incharge” and “In Charge” of situations. It was until end of Apr’20 or so, that my perspectives towards life, towards Almighty, Universe and people in general were utterly cynical. For quite some time before the pandemic spread its terror in India, my professional journey was a roller coaster and it worsened when the lockdown began. It added fuel to the fire and my anger, disgust towards Almighty multiplied. Faith, trust, belief and all such emotions just vanished, and I started behaving like a loser. My anger and pessimism were so strong that it started impacting my home environment. I had become so bitter. My sharp tongue was ready to slice through people and my mouth was prepared to let out the venom filled inside me.

During this period, I had been interacting with one of my ex-colleagues, working at a very senior position, regarding my professional aspirations, future, job prospects etc. Sub­consciously, I started seeing a mentor in him. It was at the beginning of the month of May, when he expressed his thoughts of commencing mentoring and life coaching sessions. I opted for it, realizing the fact that my mind needs a lot of tutoring. Weekly sessions began and gradually, it began cleansing my mind. However, it was just the tip of the iceberg. There was so much clutter in my mind, my thoughts and perspective that required a serious and elaborate cleansing attempt.

It was in the month of May or so that I got an interview call. I completed 5 rounds and cracked all. But, unfortunately, someone else was chosen over me. I started sulking and spoke to my mentor. I was totally devastated since I had the habit of getting emotionally attached to the job offer. I desperately needed it. I started getting into the habit of controlling my future, my next job, etc. Little did I realize that I had to concentrate on my efforts and outcome would fall in place when the time is right. Universe guides it and serves you the best. This was another learning.

As my mentoring and Life Coaching sessions progressed, it taught me:

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  Stay affirmative

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  Focus should be on the efforts and not on the outcome

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  If you sow now, you will reap the benefits later. And that “Now” has to be immediate

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  Believe in God and prayers. Pray unconditionally

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  Thank God for all you have – parents, shelter, food, life

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  Stop cribbing and being thankless

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  Bank on your assets – parents, siblings, friends

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  Treat parents with respect, you owe it to them

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  Remember good memories

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  Maintain positive outlook

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  Stop controlling and set yourself free (not directionless)

As days passed, slowly I started noticing change in my mindset and behavior. After all, it is said – It’s all in the mind. My family also started seeing this change. My belief in God was reinstated.

The reason for giving this background is that these mantras came to my rescue during this home-isolation period. Belief in God and heart-felt prayers kept me afloat amid this crucial period. I stayed optimistic.

It drew my attention to the nuisance and negligence I had caused to my health.

During this pandemic, doctors and health workers had been harping on healthy food routine and boosting your immunity and most importantly, taking care of senior citizens at home. My focus had only been on ensuring my parents are in good shape and I had completely overlooked my health. I was not only negligent towards my health in general but also did not pay heed to the unhealthy food habits I was nurturing knowingly and unknowingly. During this crucial period, when everyone was busy enhancing their immunity to fight the virus, I was religiously spoiling my health. 1.5 years back as well, my health report had raised an alarm and my doctor had warned me. I had taken it lightly. My cholesterol levels were high. Blood consistency was not as fluid as it had to be. Oxygen levels were not bad but had to be improved.

It was only after my Covid report that I was forced to pay attention to these self-inflicted damages. It is said – Don’t judge the book by its cover. This was truly applicable for me. Outer appearance was deceptive and did not show the extent of internal damage.

Thank God for the life coaching sessions I attended and the motivation I received from my mentor and family.

I took this as a subtle warning from God. It was as if God is saying, “Girl, pull up your socks. Stop flying high, watch your habits. Believe in yourself and take care of your health. This is your chance. You can do wonders. Gear up. I am there with you.”

It was as if God shared this mantra directly in my ears and it created miracles. Though there were many areas that needed correction, I did not sulk. God gave me powers to stay composed, positive, and strong. My personality and mindset took a 360-degree turn. I felt that God moved his magic wand and cleared the clutter in from my head.

I had always blamed my sister for not expressing her love for me. However, this phase showed me a different side of hers. She was breathing down my neck all the time, micro­managing my food, exercise and medicine regime. An excellent planner that she is, my sister ensured all essentials required for me in my isolation space were at literally my doorstep. She almost mothered me these 14 days. Virtually of course. And her backbone was our close family friend – Ketaki and her family who stood strong like a pillar for me and my family. My life coaching sessions family, school friends’ and our family friend’s prayers contributed to my speedy recovery.

I focused only on constructive and creative activities during this period:

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  Prayed daily unconditionally

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  Kept positive thinking mode on, 24/7

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  Attempted painting and embroidery

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  Began chanting

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  Began cultivating reading habit

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  Focused on changing my perspectives and restricting toxic thoughts

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  Watched informative content

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  Understood that everything has its own time. There is no point in being desperate. Things will fall in place when they ought to. Patience is a virtue and should be used diligently.

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  Time flies. Believe in quality of life and not its length.

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  Aim towards impacting lives and seek blessings

Little did I know, these days would be instrumental in molding me for a better tomorrow.

When I objectively looked at the havoc caused by this pandemic, it made me realize that nature is taking its recourse against heinous human actions. This pandemic made us get down to our knees and understand the VALUE OF LIFE.

Today, it is the 14th and final day of my home-quarantine period and here I am, hale and hearty, sharing this experience with you. There are a few more correction areas, for me in general and my health, in particular, that are under the lens, and I plan to deal with them real soon.

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A BIG THANK YOU TO MY FAMILY, MY MENTOR, FRIENDS WHO PRAYED FOR ME AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, MY ALMIGHTY (GOD) AND GOD SENT ANGEL – (MY DOCTOR) WHO KEPT MY SHOW RUNNING.

So, should I call this testing period as “Home Isolation”? A clear NO. I would term this phase as “Self-Introspection”.

A friendly advice to all the readers. Stay calm, stay composed. Believe in God and prayers. Follow your doctor’s instructions and be positive. Stay safe and healthy.

“Grow through what you Go Through”

“You may be nothing to the world but you are a world to someone.”